But he eventually broke the silence with…thank you…what’s your name?…would you like to join me at a party?…we can make room for you in the limo. Moments later, I am sitting next to Van Morrison in his limo going to a party and wondering what the heck just happended!  A magical moment indeed!

Maybe you’ve had similar moments in your life when you’ve felt the urge to start a conversation with someone you are attracted to, or you want to ask someone out on a date, but you hold yourself back due to fear or insecurity.

I had a whole string of thoughts that ran through my head when I say Van that night that went something like…he’ll think I’m just another silly fan…he won’t give me the time of day…he’ll laugh in my face…he’ll ignore me…he’ll walk away…I’ll feel humiliated…But I also remember having the thought:  If I don’t do this now, the opportunity will be lost, and I’ll regret it.

Many of my clients want to find love,but they’re so scared of approaching someone, opening-up a conversation, going on-line, going to a party alone, or asking someone out on a date.  They keep hearing that pesky little voice that says: don’t bother…it’s not worth it…what will they think?…I’ll do it later…

With the risk of “dropping” another famous name!  Neil Young once told a reporter that whenever he gets the inspiration for a song, He ACTS on it immediately by writing it down.  Even if he’s in the middle of dinner with family or friends, he will leave and attend to his moment of inspiration.  He firmly believes that to ignore his promptings and intuition is to dishonor the inspiration that’s coming through him.

And you know what?  Neil is right.  Can you imagine if he had never listened and honored his intuition?  He would never have found the music that was within him.  Can you imagine if I had not walked up to Van and expressed what was in my heart?  I would never have had that magical moment (and I wouldn’t have this great story to tell at cocktail parties).

Honor your inspiration and intuition—find a thought that nudges you in the the direction of your heart, and watch the magic of your life unfold.

Back in the days when I first started dating my husband, my married girlfriends would look at me enviously as if I’d been dipped in chocolate–I was in love, and when you’re in love it’s as if you are living the best version of yourself. This is your moment in the sun– you look your best, act your best, your body feels as if it’s had a much needed tune-up, people you formally dislike can do no wrong, and everything’s so utterly right with the world.  Heck, you even fall head over heals with yourself.

My girlfriends advised me to “milk it” for all I could, because they warned me that the delicious feeling, would soon fade—and if I was lucky, I could probably stretch it out for two years.

Think back to when you first met your partner.  Do you…

Remember how effortless it was to tune-into him?
Remember how single-minded you were about him?
Remember how you always looked for the positive aspects?
Remember how you were not negatively focused?
Remember how you loved your life?
Remember feeling Joy?

So What happened?

Would you believe me if I told you, that I don’t have ANY unpleasant relationships in my life?  Probably not, but it’s actually true.

It wasn’t always that way—in fact, relationships were one of my biggest issues in life…but then they became my greatest breakthrough.  If you are just a little bit curious as to how I turned it around, then…brace yourself!…Let me break this to you gently…because this is big!

If you are experiencing a difficult relationship–
It’s not about them, it’s about YOU!

Now, I realize this theory may jar you, and make you feel as if you’ve just sucked on a lemon, but stay with me…this requires some explanation.

There’s no doubt about it:  when someone disrespects you, abuses you, or just plain annoys you, your first instinct may be to get a divorce, change jobs, or leave town.  I’ve no doubt that changing your circumstances may actually provide some relief and breathing space… that is for a while!

But, the problem with leaving and going someplace else is that you take yourself with you.  And why is this problem?  Because you take your habits and patterns of thinking with you to the new person, and those same issues come right around again, and smack you in the face.

This used to happen to me a lot, especially with romantic relationships with men.  I swear, sometimes I felt like I must have had a sign emblazoned on my forehead that said: Use Me…Cheat on me…take full advantage of me…because every time I got into a relationship, sure enough, he’d use, me, cheat on me and take full advantage of me…

Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but something began to click for me…there seemed to be this familiar pattern going on, and it just so happened that I was the common denominator…hmm!  Maybe I did carry those signs around with me.

As I look back on those relationships, I can see that I gave those guys full permission to take advantage of me just by the fact that I didn’t complain or walk away.  If I wasn’t going to make a stink of it, why would they?  I allowed their bad behavior, because the alternative of losing them and being alone was far more painful.  But the real clincher was, I didn’t love myself enough to say enough is enough.

The next time you are being mistreated by your partner or boss, ask yourself:  Why am I putting up with this?  Why is it so difficult to put myself first?  If I don’t speak up, what message am I sending to them about ME?

It may seem a lot easier to point the finger at someone else, but it’s a hell of a lot of work dodging the slings and arrows they throw at you.  When you ‘get it” that we really do teach people how to treat us, you’re immediately in control of who you rendezvous with in life.

So, is it time to change the sign on your forehead?

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I once hated Valentine’s Day as much as I hate New Year’s Eve–all that hype, expectation, emotion, and cheap champagne.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for love, cute cherubs and sweet nothings, but if you’re in a relationship that has seen better days, these prescribed “love days” are about as painful as having a root canal.

Rewind to 1988.  My husband of 8 years: loving, kind, decent. Then there’s me:  loving, kind, decent… and not in love. I’d been hearing this quiet voice for some time, butI had not wanted to turn-up the volume.  But today it’s Valentine’s Day, Harvard Square looks like Red Square, and the smell of love is everywhere. And those voices are back big time.  How do I choose a Valentine card that says: I love you, but I don’t want to live with you?  I love you, but not in the way you want me to?

Like the lover who wants to shout out their love from the mountain top, it feels as if this inner voice wants to ring-in the truth no matter what. It wants me to listen. And like the verses in the cards—its message to me is eloquent, heartfelt, poignant, truthful, loving, and very, very uncomfortable.

My mentor, Martha Beck, writes that these are the voices of the Essential Self–-the true, authentic YOU.  It will nudge you, talk to you, poke you, and ultimately lead you to the path of your RIGHT life when you find yourself walking up a dark alley.  It’s the best example of unconditional love, because it never gives up on you despite your avoidance—it’s the love between you and you.

I had not wanted to listen.  I was afraid of my mistakes. I was afraid they were just selfish wanderings. How could I admit that my once perfect marriage and my once perfect partner was no more? And how the hell could any good come of this?

But GOOD did come. As I look back, that huge burden I had felt was not so much the fear of my mistakes—it was the burden of holding down the truth, of not giving it the light of day.

You can tell if you’re not living your truth or listening to your essential self: You’ll say YES, when you mean NO; you’ll feel numb, listless, unhappy, low energy, and a general anxiety that something is not quite right in your world. Reconnecting with YOU begins with listening, getting curious, noticing, and being utterly honest.

The truth finally flew out of me and hit the light of day.  And yes, there was some sadness, confusion and moving on with our lives.  But the players in my world did not fall apart and crumble like I’d imagined they would. And the mistakes that I thought I’d made seemed to shine a new light on what I did want.

Listening to your inner voice may seem like a dark place to go to, but it’s actually how the light get’s in. It’s also a hell of a lot easier to buy a Valentine’s Day card!

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e39UmEnqY8

Visit Linda’s website: http://www.attractalife.com

Back in the 90’s, I thought a lot about cowboys–the ones that rode on gallant white horses, had silver guns on either side of their thighs, clicked their spurs, and were more than happy to share their saddle with you as you rode off into the sunset.

OK, so I was quite the dreamer in those days, but I had to be.  I had two failed marriages under my belt, and I was yet again thinking about how to flee the man I was currently living with.  What was wrong with these men?  Why had they failed me?  Why were they always wrong for me?

In all fairness, it was singer, Paula Cole who got me thinking this way–she had just released that great song: Where have all the Cowboys gone, and boy did I relate.  That song became my anthem.  Men who were weak, men who disappointed me, men who lost interest in me, men who didn’t get me, men who…these were the stories I told myself.  It was all about them and how they failed me.  Where was my John Wayne?  Where was my prairie son?  Where was my happy ending?  Where have all the cowboys gone? Did they ever exist?

It took me a while to catch onto what was actually going on in my life–me and my long history of failed relationships–but I did catch on.  And boy was it big. Because for every single one of those wonderful men who was not a match to my ideal, I became razor clear about what I did want in a relationship.  Those guys were my greatest teachers.

Sure it’s painful when partners disappoint you, cheat on you, and let you down, but there’s no denying–going through those rings of fire has a decidedly purifying and clarifying effect.  My mentor Martha Beck says:

When something “terrible” is happening to us, something wonderful is being born.”

So, if you’re caught up in your stories of how it could be, or of how it should be–begin to appreciate those experiences as valuable nuggets of truth that will lead you to your best and right life.

When you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want.

It was only when I got picky and precise about what I truly wanted, that cowboys began to show up in my life.  Yep, I married a cowboy–not a true prairie cowboy, but a British lone ranger type who gallantly made room on his saddle for me–and for real–we actually rode off together to live in Montana when we first got married.  Here’s a picture of my cowboy…

Please visit my website at http://attractalife.com

The most miserable time of my life was when I lived with someone that I didn’t want to live with.  I’m struck by how crazy and illogical this statement is—why would anyone ever live with someone that they didn’t want to live with?  But I did.  The relationship lasted for eleven years—it was the last 3 years that I knew I didn’t want to live with him.
 
I remember clearly the shift. 

I gave up wanting to argue, wanting to be right.  I gave up thinking about us as a couple, thinking about marriage, a house…I was done with living this half of a life–I was just too plain tired and worn-out trying to fit that darn hole into that square peg.  Some things just don’t fit!
 
So, why did it take me three years to leave? Why didn’t I just pack my bags?  FEAR.  Not about money or living alone.  I had a job—finances would be tight, but I’d make it.   Not about being alone.  I relished time alone with no-one to bother me. Whenever he would go out of town on business, I would feel this giddy sense of freedom knowing that I could once again breath…
 

Confrontation was my greatest fear. I was afraid of looking him in the eye and saying: I’ve decided to leave you…afraid to hurt his feelings…to break his heart, to turn his world inside out.  I was afraid of all the emotional crap.  I spent hours thinking about how I could leave with the least amount of drama.  Maybe I could sneak out one day when he was at work and follow-up by email. On my darkest days when I was at my most cowardice, I’m ashamed to say that I even fantasized about him dying in an accident, but without the physical suffering. My mind would grab hold of the worst thoughts—anything to avoid facing my worst fears.  Trying to avoid painful emotion was paramount.
 
But at the basis of this fear were the thoughts:

 
And I knew instantly that if George told me it was going to be alright, then I was going to be alright!
 
Leaving was actually one of the greatest days of my life—it was the day I spoke the truth; it was the day I held my aching heart; It was the day I proclaimed boldly what I didn’t want; it was the day that set me on the path to my bright sunny future—and it was alright! 

You’re Not Still Listening to That!
 
Last night I got sucked-in again to listening to a sad song about a failed relationship…oh, the drama of it all, the hurt pride, the wounds that won’t heal.  I’m embarrassed to say that I loved it!…but that’s the power of songs.  Yes, I loved it…for all of 3 minutes.
 
I quickly tuned back into real life: to my great relationship and to my absence of wounds that won’t heal, and was gob-smacked (that’s a British expression for being amazed) at how easily I get dragged back into old emotions and patterns of thinking, especially in the area of relationships.  
 
This particular song (I bet you’re just dying to know what it is) is about a woman who cries whenever she bumps into her ex that she lost to someone else, but who is noble enough to let him off the hook by telling him to ignore her bouts of crying! Yep, she’s a total victim and martyr…she’s been hard done by, and we all feel

I absolutely adore this song…love the drama, the pathos, the music, the singer…it’s pure joy, but only for 3 minutes!
 
So, here it is! For all you closeted victims and martyrs. FOR ONE LAST TIME!  Turn up the volume and enjoy the pure indulgence of it all!

 

What’s ironic about this situation is that her attention on his lack of commitment is actually partly responsible for his lack of commitment.  How so?  Because law of attraction only brings to you what is prominent in your vibration. Every time they get together, rather than enjoy each other’s company, she shows up with this negative energy, and inadvertently pushes him away.

Solution:  Find some better feeling thoughts that lesson your attention to his lack of commitment.  Try out: he’s still getting to know me; he has his own timing; let’s just focus on enjoying our time together and the rest will happen naturally; you’ll begin to feel better emotionally and the result will be that he’ll want to spend more time with you, maybe even commit.

Please visit me at my website at http://www.attractalife.com

The subject of money is hot right now—both for our government and in our personal lives. Whatever this stuff money is, it’s pretty powerful.  No, I’m not a financial planner or an economist, but a life coach.  Many of my clients come to me panic-stricken about the economy—their deepest fears about becoming a bag lady (or man) are feeling all too real!  

But, what is money anyway?  Well, in simplest form, money is just a form of energy—that’s it.  There’s nothing esoteric or mystical about it, nothing right or wrong, good or bad—it’s merely an energy exchange like water, oxygen, the air we breathe, you and me. Unfortunately, most of us have made it out to be some big hairy deal—we attach all kinds of stories to it—do any of these sound familiar? It’s hard to come by, it’s the root of all evil, there’s never enough. If you were to take away these stories, you’d be just left with money!

So what is your relationship with money?  If money were a person or an animal, who or what would it be?  What is money saying to you? What are you saying to money? Do you welcome it the way you would a friend? Or do you scowl at it when you think about how there is never enough?  I invite you to seriously consider these questions, because if your relationship is one of frustration and anger, then that’s how it’s going to show up for you.  I’ve had clients who claim they don’t care about money, and so guess what? money doesn’t care about them either and obediently stays away.  If you welcome money the way you welcome your dog, then it will come to you with love.

Here are some suggestions on how to have a great relationship with money:

Clean it up.  Do you know where all of your money is right now?  Are there coins and dollar bills lying around your home and car? What’s the condition of your wallet? Are bills shoved in with your receipts and cards? Are you buying stuff that you don’t really need or want?  These are all examples of disrespectful relationships.  When you clean it up, it sends a message to the universe that you respect and honor money.

Create Spending Plans:  Get clear on why you want money.  Many people say they want to win the lottery, but if you ask them how they would spend it, they don’t have a clue!  How much money do you want? What is a realistic amount? What would you spend it on?  Get into the habit of visualizing and imagining how you would spend money—get to the feeling place of having it.

Change your relationship:  If you view money as a mangy old dog that you are scared of and running away from, then change that relationship.  Money responds to your energy.  It will behave like a being and it is extremely energetic.  Instead, see money as a loveable puppy showering you with love and life.

Feel Gratitude: When you pay for something with cash or your credit card—do it with a feeling of gratitude and appreciation that money is allowing you to spend and buy things. When you get your credit card bill in the mail, watch out for negative feelings such as dread or fear—find a thought that is more appreciative and positive. When you make out a check to pay a bill, write a “thank you” on the check.

Despite the economic turmoil, there are many people who are thriving and continuing to attract money into their lives.   Having enough money has never been about how hard and long you work—Bill Gates could never justify in terms of hours worked, the amount of money he has!  It’s about the energetic relationship you have with money. I invite you to give yourself 30 days to turn this relationship around, and just watch how money manifests in your life.

http://www.attractalife.com