There is nothing more painful than the feeling of being stuck in a life that you want to change. For me, it’s worse than having a really bad toothache (and I’ve had many of them), because at least with a toothache there is a definite solution—you can drag yourself off to a dentist!
But being stuck is like being super-glued to a circumstance that you think has no solution and no way out—and that hurts big time.
Fifteen years ago I was super-glued to a man who made me miserable. I lived five long years sitting on the fence wondering whether I should stay or leave. When you’re unable to make a decision it’s like living in limbo, in no man’s land. And little did I know it back then, but that limbo place was having a profound effect on every part of my life. It was like having a piece of grit in my eye. I couldn’t really get on and give myself 100% to anything, because I was always being reminded of this thing I didn’t want, this piece of grit, this life I had.
When you are stuck in life, it seems as if nothing is moving in any direction. But that’s actually not true. As long as you are breathing and alive, energy is always moving. What’s actually happening is that you just keep thinking the same thoughts, and so nothing changes. There is no movement forward or backward. You’re just stuck in the same place.
For me, I spent five years thinking…
I won’t be able to support myself living on my own.
If I leave him, he’ll be devastated.
My family will think I’m fickle and irresponsible.
I’ll end up living alone my whole life.