Last Friday I was interviewed by my good friend, and fellow law of attraction coach, Jeannette Maw. She runs a wonderful on-line law of attraction membership site called, Good Vibe University, and one of her regular events is to interview people about how they successfully manifested something they really wanted in their life.
My topic of conversation with her was: How I attracted my husband and more…
I talked about how, twelve years ago I finally got the courage to leave a painful relationship and face the inevitability of living on my own—something I had never experienced.
There was never a shortage of men in my life. Men came easy. The problem was that the right ones never came. And so, I hopped from man to man, always making sure that there was the safety net of another man waiting for me to fall into.
During the discussion, someone listening-in asked the question:
Didn’t you feel lonely and miss getting hugs when you finally left him?
I told the listener that there were many moments of deep loneliness, and that I got my hugs from my girlfriends who were closely watching over me at that time.
I’ve been thinking about this question over the weekend, and I’ve realized that I failed to point out what was really going on for me at that time. Those hugs from friends were clearly my life line. But there was something else happening, something much deeper.
You see, the truth is that I learned to hug myself. And it was only when I learned how to hug myself that my life dramatically turned around.
And so there were many nights of curling up in ball with my arms wrapped tightly around my body. And for the first time in my life, I became acutely aware of my emotional pain and how I needed to tend to that pain.
As I look back on all of those dysfunctional relationships with boyfriends and husbands, I can now understand what was truly going on with me.
It really wasn’t about me not having the smarts to pick the right men.
It really wasn’t about having an insatiable appetite for men.
It really wasn’t about how some men did me wrong.
It was about me finally getting to that place in my life where I could turn in the direction of ME and truly begin to love me first before loving anyone else.
My time had come. It was my time to hug myself.
If I hadn’t taken that precious time to hug myself, I would still be attracting those same decent, but not quite right men into my life. But when I chose instead to date me….admire me….treat me….whisper sweet nothings to me….honor me….care for me….look deeply at me….like me….love me….that’s when I finally got huge glimpses of my value. That’s when I got it that I was worthy of someone very special. That’s when I was connected to my worthiness. That’s when I began to feel JOY.
And that’s when the relationship door REALLY swung open for me.
Negative thoughts about living alone can keep you imprisoned behind a locked dungeon door your whole life. But that’s only because you haven’t yet met yourself fully and completely. You haven’t accepted yourself yet as the greatest room-mate ever.
You may be an expert at focus wheels, vision boards, appreciating others, imagining, and finding ways to feel good—all of them are great law of attraction tools—but if your heart aches from living alone, if you feel an emptiness eating your meals alone, or if your bed feels too big, then you’ll never attract “the right one.”
The secret of successful manifesting is PERSONAL ALIGNMENT. LOVE OF SELF.
So, go ahead. Look in the mirror. Introduce yourself to you. Meet yourself head-on. Because, guess what? That’s what it’s been about all along. That’s why you’ve been having a hard time with all of this relationship stuff. Your soul has been patiently waiting for you to discover YOU. And it will go on waiting until you’re ready.
Facebook 
Twitter
LinkedIn
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Thank you Linda! This was exactly what I needed to read today. It is exactly where I am at and what I have been doing. I feel even more validation that I am exactly where I need to be after reading your post.
xo